How to learn to trust a man: advice from a psychologist. How to learn to trust your boyfriend What to do if you don't trust men

Trust is a strong foundation on which any relationship is based. How many people think about what it means to trust each other? Feeling constant support from your partner and knowing that you can rely on him in any situation, even the most difficult one, is exactly what most people expect from a relationship.

But despite the love, trust can leave the relationship, and then it can easily be destroyed. Often, confidence in your significant other can disappear due to the misconduct of one of the partners or because of the jealousy of the other.

The main essence of love is trust.
Anne-Louise Germaine de Staël

What does it mean to trust a partner?

Note that confidence- it's kind of, spiritual state of a person, attitude to life. In this article we are talking about attitude towards one person, namely your lover.

In this case, trust is the confidence that your significant other will react to the situation in the way you expected, or not.

So, for example, we are full of confidence that our young man will not betray you with a girl he meets in a restaurant while meeting with friends, because there is trust. The girl lets her beloved go to the bathhouse with her friends, because there will be no other girls there, and in a couple there is such a thing as trust.

Read about what to do if the girl you love is lying and how to learn to trust her in this article.

Let us note, however, that trust is a very fragile feeling and not as stable as, for example, love. It quickly collapses and in order to restore it, you need to try very hard. And even if you try to restore it, the feeling of apprehension and suspicion will remain with you forever.

The calm and comfortable life of two people depends mainly on a high degree of trust. In order to learn to trust your lover, you should find the reasons for his absence.

What if trust is broken?

If trust has been seriously undermined, then in order to restore it, be prepared for the fact that you will need a lot of time.

The main thing you need is to survive the pain of betrayal. After this happens, the stage of hatred towards the one who offended you will begin. After the feeling of hatred comes doubt about a person’s reliability, which prevents the restoration of relationships or the creation of new ones.

None of these stages should be skipped; all of them must be experienced in the specified order. Otherwise, there is a possibility that the feeling of resentment will increase several times.

Remember, even if you do not want to continue the relationship after the fact of betrayal, it should not end in hatred. Let go of the situation, forgive the person who offended you, and move on with your life.


A person may stop trusting his significant other for the following reasons:

Trust is broken

Loss of trust will be a real test for any woman, since she trusted her man, treated him sincerely, and he acted treacherously towards her.

In Rus' they said that having committed a bad deed once, a person will not miss the opportunity to repeat it. It can be contrasted with an Arabic proverb that says that there is no guarantee that having acted badly once, a person will do the same a second time. But if he did this for the second time, then there will definitely be a third. You can forgive a single offense, because we can all make mistakes.

Your jealousy knows no bounds

Jealousy can be overcome by meditating, seeking help from a psychologist, or reading scientific literature, but remember that you should not limit a person’s freedom of action just because you are under the influence of prejudice.

We need to answer the question: are you afraid of losing your boyfriend because he will cheat on you? In this case, you should set a trap and observe - will your other half become its victim?

What's the result?

Trust is a feeling that is built over many years, and it can be destroyed very easily, so trust your loved ones and do not be guided only by feelings of jealousy.

From a psychological point of view, such a phenomenon as trust is an extremely ambiguous and complex concept. At times it can be so difficult to learn to trust a loved one, especially a man. But we make even impossible things possible, so we are also quite capable of learning how to trust a man.

Stop being judgmental towards others. If you were once betrayed or deceived, this does not mean that from now on absolutely everyone will treat you this way. Learn to be more open, be kind to others, to learn to trust men. Do auto-training.

For example, tell yourself every day: “I trust guys. They won't hurt me. We have a happy future ahead of us with my boyfriend. Men take care of me. Thanks to them I enjoy my life";

Set your thoughts in a positive way! Psychologists assure that girls who do not have good relationships with the opposite sex are simply programming themselves to deceive. If you keep a grudge in your heart against all traitors, then why wait for a normal man - he will never appear, because you subconsciously attract only deceivers. So, you put yourself in a vicious circle, from which it becomes more and more difficult to get out over time;

Do funny exercises. For example, on the advice of psychologists, get yourself a pet, most importantly a male one, and have various confidential conversations with him. This unusual training is designed to solve several problems at once. Firstly, when you speak out the essence of the problem, it is easier to get rid of it, and secondly, this is a good step towards deeper self-knowledge. Use other methods to learn to trust men - self-hypnosis, meditation, NLP. To learn to trust a man, increase your self-esteem, and for this, work on yourself all the time;

Pay attention to what the inner world of the men in your social circle is like. Get to know their views on various problems, inquire about their interests and preferences. This will allow you to get closer, and, therefore, establish a more trusting relationship. In addition, men always encourage interest in their person from representatives of the fair sex, in most cases responding with sympathy. So be bold - time will sort everything out, the main thing is your desire and efforts.

Make friends with some of the men. Just so as not to perceive men as something alien and dangerous. To know how men behave in different situations, how they are able to care and empathize. This will help you learn to trust a man who will be in another role in your life.

How to learn to believe and trust men?

To an adult, this seems like a trifle, but for a girl during the period of maturation, these little things are significant and leave a mark on her psyche and determine her future adult life.

A girl who has been confident since childhood that dad will always help her, dad will protect her, dad will support her, even if she is wrong, he will not be rude, will not make fun of her, he will advise and understand, help correct mistakes. This girl will grow up to be self-confident, and in the future she will not have problems with men.

What if the dad wasn’t around, and the daughter was raised by a mother who was offended by absolutely the entire male half, or if there was still a dad, but such that it would be better if he didn’t exist at all? What to do then?

First you need to understand that only the already matured girl herself can help herself in this case. She is now responsible for herself. Of course it's not easy for her. It is worth getting rid of the idea that all men are dogs, goats and bastards, that they only need to take one thing from a woman.

Men are all different. At the subconscious level, men see a woman who is unsure of herself. Those who are looking for a victim approach these people. A decent man does not date a woman who does not like men.

In order to learn to trust men and the situation to somehow improve, you first need to stupidly repeat at every appropriate moment: “Men are beautiful. I trust men. Men are created to protect me, help me enjoy life, take care of me.”

And it doesn't matter whether you believe it or not. You just have to keep repeating it. You can get yourself some kind of male animal - a dog, a cat, a parrot, fall in love with him, and be frank with him. You shouldn't be afraid to look funny! Talk to your pet, get advice. Soon you will see how the life around you will gradually begin to change.

To learn to trust a man, you can try to make friends with an elderly neighbor who will treat you like a granddaughter or daughter. You will be able to understand male nature, logic, behavior of men and simply stop being afraid of them.

When you meet a man who you like very much, with whom you start dating, you should not see him as a cheater, do not make big plans for the future, do not put pressure on him in terms of marriage. Enjoy your relationship, enjoy all the good things he will do for you.

Say: “I am grateful to fate for my man, and I trust him.” Soon the question will not arise about how to learn to believe and trust men. “To each one is given according to his faith.”

Love is the most beautiful and important feeling in our life. However, any, even the best relationship can be destroyed due to a lack of trust between lovers. To keep your love, you need to learn to trust your loved one.

According to bioenergeticists and psychics, in addition to the physical body, a person also has bodies of a subtle plane - the astral and mental. Life energy permeates these bodies in a free flow, concentrating in active energy centers called chakras.

When nothing interferes with the flow of energy, a person’s energy is in a harmonious and healthy state. But if an energy blockage occurs in one of the chakras, then the subtle body begins to deplete, and after some time its negative state begins to affect a person’s physical and emotional health.

The lack of trust between loving people on the subtle plane looks like a block on the green Anahata chakra. It is located in the chest area and is responsible for feelings and emotional sensations.

Positive emotions nourish Anahata and accumulate positive emotional energy, while negative emotions deplete the energy flow of the heart chakra. Lack of trust and suspicion towards a loved one most of all weakens vital energy, “weighting” it down.

Ultimately, a powerful block is formed on Anahata, which over time can begin to negatively affect the functioning of the heart. You can save the situation by resolving problems in relationships - energetic, psychological and factual.

How to learn to trust

If an unpleasant situation, resentment or betrayal has occurred in your relationship that interferes with trust, then first of all you need to weigh the pros and cons of such a relationship and decide for yourself whether you can forgive and forget past grievances for the sake of your love.

If the internal answer is negative, you should not overstep yourself and your self-esteem. Changing the circumstances of your life is difficult, but liberation from the constant fear of repetition of the situation and mistrust is absolutely worth it.

If you understand that you are able to forgive past grievances, then the lost trust should be restored. This requires the efforts of not only the “offending party,” but also yours. Without your willingness to work on your feelings, lost trust will never be regained. There are several ways to restore a broken relationship:

  • harmonization;
  • affirmations for love and understanding;
  • joint visit to a family psychologist.

If everything is fine in your relationship, but trust in your loved one has disappeared by itself, then this indicates a block in the heart chakra. Its cause may be:

  • damage or love spell on you or your partner;
  • imbalance of male and female energy.

In any of these cases, only you can help your relationship. To regain lost trust in your partner, you need to understand what situation you are most afraid of and honestly tell your loved one about it. After the conversation, write down your feelings, new thoughts and conclusions in a notebook and put it aside for two to three days.

After this period, re-read what you wrote with “fresh eyes” and compare the feelings you have with what you wrote. Make another entry, even if you feel like nothing has changed significantly. Continue to analyze and write down your thoughts, sorting through your fear, for two to three weeks.

If your significant other really did not give you a reason to mistrust, then after a while you will notice how your feelings have changed in comparison with the very first entry. This method is effective against any fears, phobias and doubts associated with strong emotional experiences.

Meditation—searching for a life path—will help you gain confidence in yourself and your future. We wish you mutual love and only positive emotions. Be happy and don't forget to press the buttons and

03.05.2017 04:04

Toxic relationships bring more problems and disappointments than happiness and joy. They are often compared to...

When you play with your child and throw him in the air, he laughs joyfully because he knows that you will catch him. This is Trust. And trusting a man is no different...

The question “” arises among women for various reasons. Some do not trust a man, suspecting him of treason, of betrayal. Others do not trust a man, controlling his every move. Still others do not trust a man with even the simplest task, being in the firm belief that they can do everything better, they can do everything perfectly, but he – a man – cannot.

Each of these women has no personal happiness. The first one eats itself from the inside with jealousy and fear of loneliness. The second eats both herself and her beloved man. The third one is most often like a squirrel in a wheel all on its own, and the man is on the sofa with a beer or even worse...

And the reason for all these women’s misfortunes is the same, for the first, and for the second, and for the third. None of them knows how, cannot or does not want to trust their man.

What you will learn from the article:

How to learn to trust a man

Method 1. Trust in a man - Treat your head

It certainly sounds rude. But the whole problem is still only in your head - and this is happiness. Rebuild your brain in such a way that once and for all, even the possibility of betrayal leaves you. Necessarily

The problem always first appears in our head. Most often, as long as we don’t even allow the thought of something, it doesn’t happen in our lives. But as soon as some thought settles in our head, and even for a while - wait, the mirror of reality will definitely show you your thoughts in reality - and good ones, too, mind you. So it's better to think positive. About how faithful your man is, how caring he is and only you. And let this not fully correspond to reality YET. Just for now. Soon the mirror will show you a different man, with different qualities.

In any case - regardless of whether your husband is cheating on you or not - positive thoughts will change your life in such a way that a faithful and devoted man will be next to you, as soon as you completely and completely set your head with the attitude: “I trust my man one hundred percent.” percent. He is faithful and devoted to me body and soul.”

Disclaimer: if your man is still not clean in his hand, or in other parts of the body, it is likely that another man will be next to you, namely, faithful and devoted. But that's another question.

Method 2: Loosen your grip

A person gains control over a situation only when he ceases to control, gives up control - completely and completely.

Learn to trust life. By controlling every step of your beloved man, you not only lose your personal life - you simply don’t have time for it. This time.

Secondly, you are simply suffocating the man by constantly checking him. This will lead to feelings of guilt, often out of the blue. Coming home and seeing the dissatisfied face of his woman, a man will cultivate this feeling of guilt in himself even subconsciously. And at first there will be only one reason for this - his woman is unhappy, he failed. Further - along the slope. And as a result, sooner or later there will be a woman without complaints, satisfied and happy from his mere arrival (and this happens at the beginning of any relationship!). Let's not put a man into the hands of another woman with our own hands!

Every time you feel the urge to control, get to the truth, interrogate, or just think about it, do something for yourself. For example, .

From Vedic wisdom: a woman should always meet her man with a joyful face. Then he will rush home. Do you have any complaints against your husband? We smiled, fed them, and then talked about painful things. No hysterics, of course.

Method 3. Ask him for help

Just start small - with anything. At least buy some water. Just be sure to appreciate his actions. And not just within yourself. Show him how glad, satisfied, happy you are that he helped you. Of course, maybe now you think that you will be like a fool enjoying a bottle of water while you yourself are worried about filling an entire refrigerator... Just do it. And tomorrow ask for twice as much. And so on.

You will see how great it is to trust your man to help you. We're not talking about washing dishes, of course. He has his own - male tasks in life. But for him to start performing them to the fullest, you must be sure that he can do it. Your faith or lack thereof “makes” your man.
And only you influence whether he lies on the couch with beer or gets a mammoth to provide for his princess.

How to learn to trust a man? Just do it. Men know how to be faithful, devoted and reliable. Let's let them be like that. Let's restore trust in a man.

Trust is an integral part of any relationship, be it friendship, business cooperation or family relationships. To be truly productive, it is important to be able to rely on a person...

Regardless of the nature of the situation, in order to achieve the expected result, it is important to trust others and yourself. Otherwise, paranoid thoughts will inevitably arise about whether everything possible has been done. Agree, this sows doubts. When we have something like this in our heads, we not only cannot trust the person, we see a catch, a hidden meaning in all his actions. What kind of mental comfort can we talk about in such relationships, saturated with suspicion?

Many of us had the experience of a psychotherapeutic exercise in childhood. When you have to turn your back to another person, close your eyes and fall back, in the hope that you will be caught. Remember how it was? At first, horror overwhelms me: what if he can’t cope, what if I fall. And what happened then when your partner picked you up? Be sure to live this experience. This way you will understand what trust means to you and experience an unforgettably pleasant feeling when your fears dissipate. You may realize that those around you will support you regardless of your mistrust.

Relationships without trust

Often, without thinking about it at all, having difficulties with trust, we ourselves destroy relationships. Girls sometimes feel that their man is insincere with them. They constantly carry out checks. They need proof of love every day. It is difficult to build mutual understanding in a couple where suspicion is constantly present.

Of course, there are real problems in some relationships that give rise to mistrust. But here the question arises: why do you remain in a relationship with a man, having, for example, evidence of his infidelity. Yes, he will cheat on you. Yes, you have a lot of irrefutable facts. Yes, all your friends know. Yes, he does not hide his infidelities. Why are you in a relationship with a man you can't trust?

In our article we are talking about relationships in which there is no obvious disrespect towards you. Here we raise problem of mistrust in a man: when he seems to be trying to be with you, courting you to the best of his ability, investing morally and financially in your relationship, but for some reason you still don’t believe in the sincerity of his feelings.

Often relationships in which there is no trust turn into a series of constant checks. As they say, whoever seeks will always find. If you are initially convinced that a man has no feelings for you or that he is cheating on you, are absorbed in the search for evidence, arrange checks, then sooner or later you will either provoke him into behavior that confirms your fears, or you will see reasons for the inability to trust where in reality they weren't there.

Obviously, mistrust does not appear without reason. Most likely, there was something in your past experience that made it difficult for you trust men or the people around you in general. However, you must admit that the mistake or dishonesty of one person does not mean that everyone behaves this way. The world is diverse and so is humanity. Is your man to blame for the fact that you were once very hurt? Now the consequences of your moral injury are reflected on him. Believe me, constantly proving your love is an extremely difficult task. Does your current man deserve to suffer because you were once in extreme pain? How long will he be strong enough to prove his reliability and loyalty to you?

How to restore trust in a relationship?

In most cases, the problem of mistrust in a couple arises due to the inability of one of the partners to objectively look at what is happening. Often problems of the past, fears, unhealed grievances, and disappointments interfere in the relationship between a man and a woman. Having a negative experience, we try to prevent ourselves from such shocks again. This is a normal defensive reaction. However, in some cases, this protection begins to interfere with us today - the past seems to destroy our present.

Sometimes a traumatic situation is so deeply hidden in our subconscious that we cannot even remember where this distrust of others came from. In such cases, it may be useful to seek help from a psychologist. After all, if something prevents you from learning trust the man you love, it is necessary to take decisive measures before you go too far in your checks and destroy the relationships that are so dear to you. Take care of your love!

So, you realize that you have difficulty with mistrust and want learn to trust your man. Remember that the path to changing yourself is not easy; you will need a lot of strength to cope with the traumatic situation of the past, which prevents you from building happy relationships in the present. Take advantage of the advice from Womanlove that will allow you to take the first steps in building a trusting relationship in your couple.

  • Enjoy what you have today. Avoid comparing your current relationship with how it was before, or with what is happening in the relationships of your friends. Enjoy today, the fact that you are together now. Nobody knows what will happen next. If you feel good with each other today, enjoy it.
  • Try to get rid of your suspiciousness and suspicion. Remember a simple rule: the less freedom a man has in a relationship, the more he wants to get it. If you try to control and limit his communication with other people, do not doubt that he will strive for this. You won't be nice by force. Remember this. With your control, you will not save the relationship, but will only increase your partner’s desire to break up with you.
  • Think optimistically. Remember that by taking the important step of giving a man the necessary freedom, you will inevitably plunge yourself into a situation of uncertainty. Once you stop controlling, you will no longer know where he is. At this moment it is important to think positively. Don't make up scary stories. Try to distract yourself from anxious thoughts. Perhaps, at the moment when he is late at work, he actually went to choose a gift for you, noticing that you have become more restrained and given him more freedom in the relationship.
  • Remember the mechanism for forming trusting relationships. If you trust your partner, then he will inevitably begin to trust you and become more open and sincere with you. Our behavior certainly influences the behavior of the people around us, because everything in the world is interconnected. Treat people the way you would like to be treated.

True love is impossible without trust. Try not to torment your man with constant checks or demand proof of the sincerity of his feelings. And soon you will notice that he himself will begin to treat you more kindly and become more open.

Of course, sometimes we still come across men who are not trustworthy. In the family, as they say... Try to look at things realistically. Don’t have unnecessary illusions, but don’t invent non-existent difficulties either. It is important to really see the need for mistrust before suspecting your partner of something. In most cases, we are still talking about our own fears and the desire not to step on the past, painful rake again. Try to be as objective as possible in relationships.

It is within your power to bring comfort and tranquility into your personal life. Be happy, enjoy your relationship with your beloved man. Life is too short to waste it on reproaches, checks and expectations of future difficulties. If everything is fine between you today, this is a happy relationship. If there are difficulties now, it is in your power to find a way to cope with them.

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